January 2012
1 post
why...
i don’t get why…why did you want me back if you really weren’t willing to do the work? you could hae your freedom and live how you wanted….i know you’re out tonight, when you said you weren’t….you lie about everything….just take care of yourself…enjoy it…i can’t make you happy the way you should…
December 2011
3 posts
head games...
you’re making it very clear you don’t want this…you should just tell me…it’s totally ok…you are entitled to be happy and be where you want to be…if this isn’t it then tell me just don’t try to push me to the point where i do it…if there’s someone else…then go for it…just please tell me…
crazy
you honestly make me crazy…i don’t know when i’m coming or going…i want so badly to believe in you…but it’s hard when you don’t make it easy.
what would be better is if this isn’t where you want to be you should just tell me and i will set you free…as hard as it may be…i would get it…
you may say i could do the same...
You know....
Another night I’m up & upset…and another night you’re asleep. Not a care in the world….I guess that alone should tell me how you really feel about me…I honestly believe there’s someone else in your life right now or you want the freedom to explore your options…if that’s the case….ok but tell me. Yes I’ll be hurt but I’ll get it....
November 2011
4 posts
i hate that i feel this way...
you called and said you’re going to el torito for a birthday thing for a “girl” friend…it can be totally innocent but it gives me a sick feeling in my stomach…the first thing that comes to mind is…are you going on a date? double date with H?? idk!!! it doesn’t really feel good…. then the other side of me tries really hard to believe that it is just...
incredible...
it’s incredible how you coming over can just make my day! i’m so happy that you came by!! i love watching you play with the girls!!! Thank you!!
losing days...
i can’t exactly say it came as a surprise when you told me this morning that starting this week we can only spend a couple of days together…don’t get me wrong…it still hurt but not a real surprise. it’s not at all what i want but i guess i have to accept it because right now i want some time rather than no time. but it makes me sad because it makes me feel like you...
i'm not the one...
i think today it’s clear to me that i’m not the one…but why is it that i still want you. i know for me the best thing is to walk away from you…but for some reason i can’t walk out…i need you to end it. i tried giving you that the other day but you didn’t do it…or may be you did but you didn’t let me know about it. lol
you invited 3 girls out...
October 2011
4 posts
sleep
it’s nice to know you can sleep while we fight and i can’t seem to do anything…but think and feel hurt…slowly you are just making me turn my love into nothing…you’re making me regret the love that i give to you…you think of no one but yourself. you want what you want…and do as you want without thinking about me…that’s what hurts the...
i feel like shit!
it’s weird no matter what i tell you these days i feel as though it tears us a part…i just told you something today about my past that is so very deep for me and it seems to have made you more distant from me…it hurts to feel as though you don’t believe me…and to hear you tell me that you are still open…that totally crushed me…but at the same time...
Need to Tell You
dearoldlove:
Every once in a while I get so excited because something happens that I need to tell you…but then I remember that I can’t. Even apart you’re capable of disappointing me.
i don't know....
i swear, i don’t know what it is about me that it seems everyone just can’t seem to love me…i truly feel like i treat every one well…i just want to be treated well back….right now all i feel is that i’m just put on the back burner…i’m not worthy of respect…not worthy of anything…
you tell me you’re on your way and that makes me...
July 2011
1 post
sad
i’m sad…cause i miss you and i haven’t heard from you….
April 2011
1 post
i knew...
i knew when i made the choice to leave the car industry it meant that i would probably lose you…i mean what i had left of you…i just didn’t know that it was going to be this quickly. i miss you so much. i know you have moved on i wish i could!! i really want you to be happy!!! you deserve it!!!!
February 2011
2 posts
i don't want this anymore
i don’t want to want you anymore! i don’t to yearn for you, i don’t want to crave you, i don’t want to care for you, i don’t want to love you anymore!!
sex = evil
sex is evil!!! can’t have sex with out emotions…or attachment! the physical feels good but the aftermath is awful!
November 2010
2 posts
what happened...???
What happened? we were talking, texting…meeting up, sleeping together…sharing special moments…then nothing and all of a sudden you are gone…what happened? did i do something wrong? what made you upset that i’d stop hearing from you? i wish you could tell me!!!
still hooked
in a couple of months it’ll be a year since you broke up with me and i’m still hooked….i still love you, in love with you…
July 2010
5 posts
my last letter to you...
Dearest Love,
You have and will always be my exception. when we first started talking i never realized or thought we would have ended up together. it was cool to talk with you, text, confide in you, listen to you…i loved learning about your life…i loved how open you were with me. i enjoyed our talks, the laughter…just having fun with you. But after a 1 year together our time...
unreal...good luck
i don’t know how many times i will allow you to hurt me…i don’t think you truly mean to right now. but you are cause i’m still in love. so i guess i’m the dumb-ass. when i feel like i’m moving forward….you walk back into my life and make me feel like you care. only to push me away again. then you are close to someone else… she’s found you...
Caterer
dearoldlove:
You’re the one I want to cater to for the rest of my life.
why?
you confuse me soooo much…. i friggin don’t hear from you in 17 or so days…then we talk, even get told a bunch of stuff about you calling Maia, and she can send you pics. get to see you, get personal….and then nothing…you are so hot and cold… don’t know how to take it some times. i truly believe you are busy with work but your inconsistancy confuses...
Well-Hidden
dearoldlove:
I know you still love me, I just don’t know how you hide it so well.
June 2010
9 posts
i hate that you can make it all better...
we haven’t really talked in days and i’ve missed you like crazy! i’ve even wondered if i did something to upset you or if there was someone new in your life…to explain why you suddenly stopped texting. i don’t hear from you in days and then suddenly you text and it’s like everything is all good and better. it amazes me that you still have that ability…i...
moving forward
some stuff has come to light that you have definitely moved forward…why can’t i seem to move forward and move on? why do i still want you? you have found someone new that you desire…and it hurts like hell. and i can’t believe you want her…why her? is that the type of person you truly want? then i must not have been the right person for you from the beginning.
i...
Time
I guess it’s time for me to let you go….yes, I understand we broke a few months ago. Lol although, I’m letting you go doesn’t mean that you’re still not in my thoughts or in my heart.
Still Wondering
dearoldlove:
I can’t wait for the day I wake up not wondering where you are or what you’re doing.
what happened...?
this is the longest that we have ever not been in contact…i can’t help but feel as though you are upset with me about something…but i really don’t understand what i did to deserve this…it would be easier to accept if i knew…it’s a little frustrating and hurtful to think you could drop me like a hot potatoe…i can’t seem to do that to you even if...
my fear
my fear is that you will forget all about me…
would you tell me?
if you’re seeing someone else would you tell me? i would hope that you would…i would be sad but happy for you. and who knows the knowledge that who are with someone else would definitely kill all hope that i still hold on to…no matter how minute it is…
the truth
the truth is you’ve let me go so long ago but have been kind enough to be my friend to help me get over you. no matter how gentle you have been the pain of not having you in my life is still great. i’ve tried to prepare myself for this day but i guess no amount of preparation could have fully prepared me for how empty i feel or the sadness i feel now. :-( i miss you!!!
The truth is so hard....
The truth that you truly do not want me, love me or care for me like you once did is so hard to swallow. It’s time to stop kidding myself…..
May 2010
1 post
Don't Drop Everything
dearoldlove:
I would have dropped everything for you, and you couldn’t handle that.
April 2010
12 posts
Catchup
dearoldlove:
If my heart could catch up with my head, it would be easy to leave you behind.
good talk
i’m glad you called yesterday. i feel better that we’ve talked. at least now i know how you view our friendship. we were both definitely on two different paths. i did see what you were trying to do but at the same time i was questioning it. i’m the type of person that likes to be told; not made to see or get the hints. the hint thing makes me question my sanity. i have to...
blow off...
did you just blow me off? ouch, that hurts!!!!
so embarrassed
sent a text that was not meant for you…to you. i’m so embarrassed…sorry, but i think that’s an understatement… mortified is more like it. i have no idea what was going through my friggin mind. i didn’t even realize i sent it to you until right before your text came through. now, i feel like whatever friendship we have or could have is totally gone. any...
my love
we shared a brief moment today…although it was brief i still enjoyed it. i wish that i had enjoyed the little moments when we were actually together and not have been so greedy…maybe things would have been different. so i guess these days i will be telling you good night from here. good night my love, sleep well and sweet dreams. you are still my last thought at the end of my day...
why are you upset?
i really don’t understand why you are upset with me? i don’t feel i have done anything wrong…or at least nothing that you have not done to me before. i accept you for who you are, why can’t you do the same for me? right, now i need you to be more understanding of me but it just seems that you have it’s still about you and your needs. you need to realize that other...
my dreams...
the other night i woke up looking for you…thinking you were just in the bathroom. i had dreamnt that we had fallen asleep together and that you had held me all night. i miss being in your arms, i miss smelling your breathe in the morning, i miss your body next to mine…i miss you.
Excuses Are Everywhere
dearoldlove:
Sometimes I wish you would find an excuse just to call or message me, like I do whenever I want to hear your voice.
happy easter...
its a happy easter because i got to see the girls…it’s not happy because it’s without you…
1 year
what a difference a year makes…a year ago this year i was on my way to meet you to spend time with you. we were so happy and excited to spend time with each other…now, it’s just different.
pleasantly surprised
the other night i was pleasantly surprised to hear from you…truly enjoyed it. but today nothing…makes me wonder did i do something wrong?
Nice
this morning’s texts were very nice! thank you!
March 2010
37 posts
Changes...
i know changes need to happen but sometimes changes are hard to accept. i miss the way you’ve been with me, even as friends. please don’t let go of that…i still want you in my life.
Out of sight, out of mind
You may be out of my sight but you are NEVER out of my mind!
Couldn't sleep
Last night was awful….I didn’t sleep at all. Hoping today will be better.
good night
good night, sleep well and sweet dreams love.
space
a wise friend once told me that i need to give you your space…the fear is that you might like the space too much and then one day just disappear.
i know she is right, although i want to text you so bad right now (actually, i wanted to all day to see how you were and how your day was going) to wish you a good night and sweet dreams…i am going to give you your space. enjoy it but...